Saturday, October 2, 2010

get your group on


"Group means simply a number of people that you are sharing with on a regular basis. So if in fact you are living with or working with people who are negative, that you have help with that. There are also times in our lives when we are with positive people who are trying to walk a positive road. There is support. There is sharing of wisdom. More than anything else people who are walking the same road, who are fighting the same battles. It helps define you. That you are not powerless. That you can make all kinds of decisions. The quality of our life so much depends on what we choose it to be. Choose something wonderful and great for yourself and then get out and make it happen."... Earnie Larsen


i remember when i was attending a group with regularity. i went to 3 groups a week for 3 years because i needed the support. and i fell off the group attendance because i had a life changing situation and i started isolating. isolating is what i do when i am emotional because it is easier and hurts less than being around people and having to explain my feelings.

perhaps this is a cop out. i think this is what many acquaintances think. and maybe i think this too. there are two lines of thought for me on this. firstly, i think that i should talk about how i feel and include people in my life in what is going on inside my head and heart. and more so, i fall first to believing that my feelings (and myself) are inappropriate and in the wrong. the next process is for me to remember that i am allowed to have my feelings whatever they are. for so many years i have pushed past my feelings, ignored them, medicated them, not honored them, and therefore it is imperative for me to honor my feelings by having them and sitting with them.

i have written about this before and most likely will do so again. this is the centerpiece of my serenity at this time of my life. i co-exist with a chemical imbalance and i have to learn to do so in a way that is considerate of my being. i need to acquaint myself with my moods and the strategies to remain sane. and i have a steamer trunk full of emotional baggage filled with homespun and imported trauma and a lifetime of secrets, lying, hiding, and binging.

needless to say this requires fortitude and in reviewing my program, i realize i need to expand my support network.  i have about 5 good friends that are the ultimate supporters, but i think i may need to expand my inner work to include a more focused agenda and expand my recreational life to be around more people with more activities.

i sat in the group i facilitate yesterday and again noticed the energy that can be created by a selection of souls and a need to explore. i found myself smiling in admiration of this whole exchange.

 i think i need to get my group on.

and for fun, here is missy  gettin her group on and speaking an enticing language maybe only they really understand..