inside my head

had another stellar meal at parallel 17 last night. the lemongrass prawns were lovely, but the starter and the finish were the two standout acts in this show. we had the tuna tacos in the beginning. crispy little shells filled (and overflowing) with cubes of deliciously marinated ahi sashimi which were nestled into bed of avocado mouse and then topped with a baby dollop of wasabi creme fraiche.  and the desserts were ba-na-nas (well figuratively). deep dish dark chocolate mousse, coconut milk panna cotta, and a pear and ginger tart with sweet brown butter. the owner came to our table this visit and made everything seem much more hometown. the company, however, is what is most memorable about the meal. i have known my friend for about 6 years now, and our relationship has changed by miles yet somehow remained very much the same.

today i am leaving early to go vote. there are so many things unsavory about several of the choice on the ballot that i have to make sure i have my say. i haven't come to terms with what our village and our state will look like if my choices are not validated by my neighbors. sometimes finding faith looks like a very long road.

the topic of relationships and dating keep coming up. i am not currently engaged in either. as a matter of fact, i would say i'm almost thoroughly conflicted. i detest the pressure by others to be seen in a couple to really be "seen", all the while feeling the cultural pressure from inside pushing outward. i sometimes think that i need to be with someone to be complete somehow. it's a little bit queer how all this works. 

i am still haunted by the images of richard hawkins (posted above) at the AIC show in Chicago last week. haven't put it all together yet as to just why, but i know that some of the images impacted me on a core level. i was creeped out and drawn in at the same time. as the experience continues to distill, perhaps more will be revealed. certainly i know that other aspects of my life work that way. in the meantime, i will just continue to swim through infatuation with the voice of this man. the iconographic images may have opened a new vein of wealth waiting to be mined.
i came across this vid with the illustrious pet shop boys and thought it somehow fitting for this post