Wednesday, December 22, 2010

best of you

totally inspired by a song today. best of you by the  foo fighters. absolute nirvanha for me. love love love this band. and dave grohl.

this song has carried me through some challenging times this last decade. both the full boar band rendition and this pared down version they did on the skin and bones tour/album.

are they getting the best of you.. double entendre most definitely. are they getting the best of you? am i giving the best of me? asking these questions can easily put me back on track when i feel stalled. (and that is often enough that i have some bailout plans.)

in this stage of the journey, the unfinished business of growing up continues to rear its head. the oh-so-many things i never wanted to deal with have not disappeared as i had hoped with all those years neglect. no, they have secretly laid in wait until an opportune moment and then appeared again as if a shadow next to me in the mirror when there seems to be no source.

a friend is in hospital in a coma and it is not looking good. he was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer 4 years ago, but with chemo and prayer had pulled through to step into the sunlight of spirit a while longer. subsequently, his wife had died, his  father has passed, and he has remained strong, postively focused, and frankly, an inspiration.

working for the next four days, including xmas eve and xmas. made plans with the intention of not being available. may be poor judgement, may be flawed judgement, but here is where i am- at the confessional. truth though is that people depend on me and it's a good thing. and i need to be there.. as in there..

can't say that i give my best every moment of every day. definitely working on that one. times do come that i forget about "the best". too busy stuck in the drama of the moment. the magic of music is the transcendence it can bring. just one listen to this and i can so easily be back on track, almost seamlessly...

I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you
Are you gone and onto someone new
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse...... Foo Fighters..