revolver

For many, negative thinking is a habit, which over time, becomes an addiction... A lot of people suffer from this disease because negative thinking is addictive to each of the Big Three -- the mind, the body, and the emotions. If one doesn't get you, the others are waiting in the wings. ...Peter McWilliams

it has been said that life is a spiral. a series of circles that keep rewinding around itself like a coil with the emotional journeys repeating themselves with a new level of understanding with each pass through the spiral. i have always considered this to be truth, but most time i am so wrapped up in my own experience that it is not so evident until the actual experiences have passed. but once in a while there is the awareness of a deeper layer of cognition.

i hope that i am gathering the grist for the mill. much of what i see today has an air of re-experience. oftentimes i feel as if i am having another go. ican only hope that it is a good "go".

i have been working with someone whose brain has very evidently been triggered to hunt for more drugs. this guy who had been searching for peace and change has, because of circumstances, done a complete about face and become demanding, spiteful, manipulative, and mean all in the space of a few days. a demeanor and an agreement field which were not visible at all have taken center stage and it is barely possible to recognize who i am encountering.

and buried somewher inside this jekyll/hyde scenario is the not-so-distant truth about my own memories. it is eerie to say the least-watching an old drama unfold in front of me ancient and evil and hollow are a few of the shells used to fill this weapon i came across.

as i outline and accent new boundaries around all this, both for myself and this traveller, i shudder a little inside. i recognize well the possible outcomes in this dramatic revival. i am hoping that the 3rd act take s a turn this time through the spiral. i hope this revolution brings with it the winds and sun that can dissipate the mists that have settled upon avalon. is it legend? is it myth? or is it just russian roulette?

i can only hope that my work and journey have generated enough motion in a positive direction that may affect an outcome here. one that will move us both into an outer ring of our individual spirals.

Line 'em up
Knock 'em down
My looks can kill
E-O-E-O
My body's fully loaded
And I got more ammo
Line 'em up
Knock 'em down
My looks can kill
E-O-E-O
You're an accessory to a murder cause