lincoln- image credit-vanity fair
having not really ever been a historian, i guess i never contemplated what a massive undertaking and construction the war between the states was, nor did i ever once consider how it must have been to try to address and mend what was broken at that time. i will let this film simmer for awhile and may even see it again to review what i have taken in. it overwhelmed me!
mom on left- image credit linda carpenter
sadly for my mom though, i was pooped. i had worked a party the evening before and really hadn't eaten, so the only thing i wanted to do was sleep when i got out of the theater. i barely had the where-with-all to say goodbye. i wanted to head home and shut my head down for a bit. i am afraid i hurt her feelings in all this. she is headed to arizona for thanksgiving to be with her siblings and i won't see her. i regret this possibility. i guess the reason i write this is to purge a bit as her phone is turned off and i may not get the opportunity to do this.
it is a requirement that i look at how i behave. this would certainly fall into the category of character defects. i cram too much into my calendar and then i am not available to those who need my attention because i am managing my time. when i think about a solution for this, i understand well it is about slowing down. my own nature creates this need to work 3 jobs. i like to spend money and i like to have money in order to do this. in each of these jobs, i find satisfaction. however as i "zoom out" a little, i see that the sum of them might create a shadow that actual light has difficulties getting in and around.
i have some things to consider here. i hope i will. i also have the busiest month of the year for catering coinciding with all this. maybe things will change. maybe i'll find a softer way to live my life. maybe i will assess my priorities and do some re-arranging. maybe. it's definitely worth considering.