mercury in retrograde

image credit- stephen beckly

MERCURY RETROGRADE: The purpose of Mercury retrograde is to review and revise our life and our connection with reality. The timing of this universe is geared toward the Sun as it moves through the zodiac. Mercury has an orbit that at times gets ahead of the Sun allowing us to look into the future toward new and innovative ideas. However, we cannot continue in that vein until we come back to the present designated by the Sun and put our new ideas into manifestation. During the time that Mercury jumps ahead, we ultimately have to bring the ideas back into the present to test and evaluate to see how they fit into our life. As Mercury retrogrades back into the present, the connection with the Sun happens as we test drive our ideas and re-align with reality and the natural timing of the universe.

Mercury itself rules how we think, we will be adjusting everything related to thoughts, concepts, ideas, and communication, especially how technology and material elements play a part in the physical manifestation of ideas. When Mercury retrogrades, we find that many parts of our life are being revised. Often these revisions can be a surprise or throw us back a step. However, these revisions which occur during a Mercury retrograde, are a "course correction" and provide a stop gap measure until we can review situations. During this time of revision, change is compounded and confusion is created by our reactions to the ever-changing situations. Thus anything started during this time will ultimately be taken back or even revised further, making for a high-frustration time. This will be especially true with changing our minds, reviewing new ideas and our communication being improved and honed so not to be misunderstood.... read the rest of this post at alphalife

in 2011, mercury went into retrograde just about august 3rd and will start its arc back around august 26th. the technical insanity of my weekend would attest to the inside out quality of this phase. so many things seemed to cease operating and i found myself drifting into a communication void. it was frustrating, humbling, and overwhelming. nothing but surrender led me to peace. now 3 days later, my life is once again connected and at peace, but the nightmare that was this weekend left an imprint. 

i have so many very big changes in front of me and i am completely leery of making a decision during this retrograde period. i am often so fueled by impulse and do not think out my moves. this is precisely one strong explanation for the financial predicament i find myself. i have been told that fear of economic issues will fade once sober, but i believe i have to grow up emotionally before that will happen. and i hope that is what i am doing. 

i have started working with the hep-c+ patients at our clinic. now the intakes are being testes for most sti's and i will be delivering the test results. surprisingly most have remained sti-free through all their marauding. but every now and then, as in today, there is a person who has no idea that they have been exposed to something and need to consider taking care of themselves in a new way. the woman i informed today teared up as we talked. it didn't seem as if she were devastated, but perhaps more that this was one more trauma or burden that she found herself having to bear at this point in her life. i am scheduling follow-ups with all the positives in 1 month and then 1 month later. it is my experience that a person's brain goes numb when they are told, and are unable to take much of anything else in. a month should give that numbness a chance to subside. 

i continue to wait to hear about my transfer at work. it always seems to be such a long wait for these transfers to happen for me. waiting is not my strong suit. and yet i have been doing it for at least a season every year for the past 3. there must be deeper lessons here. 

i read about this remix at andy towle's site. it's a remix of poly styrene's "ghoulish"  with hercules and the love affair. it's etheral and i  really kinda like it.

 Poly Styrene 'Ghoulish' (Hercules & Love Affair Remix) by Poly Styrene 

Second Annual Glee Flash Mob - Seattle [OFFICIAL]

love come down

i have a friend that i used to work with in another incarnation. she sat next to me in a call center for several years and we laughed and cried our way through our work lives together during those years. i transferred out to san francisco at the turn of the century and we went our own ways. when i returned to denver in 2003, she called me up, got me a job, and loaned me some money to get a house going again. never mind that i was still fucked up with tina. never mind that i blew thru the money and pissed on the job. she remained a true friend and has a secure place in my heart.

about 7 years ago, she was diagnosed with parkinson's disease. naturally it was mind-blowing for her, but i also know it was incredibly strange for all of us who care about her. she stopped working about 4 years ago and her health has been deteriorating since. she trembles religiously and her speech seems to be turning inward. as a friend i discussed earlier this evening, it is becoming impossible to connect to what is happening in her mind. she is feeble, she weighs 92 lbs, and she cannot care for herself at all. she painfully renders a memory of the incredible shrinking woman and it is nothing less than hard to ascend.

i have struggled with  a way to spend time with her without having her sense my uncomfortability. i can't understand her when she speaks, and she likes to chat. she loves to talk and i don't comprehend and i wince when i ask "huh" too often or reply "oh" like i am following. it has been easier to avoid than confront my awkwardness. i haven't allowed myself to cry about my friend for all these years.

yet tonight, i am told that she won't be leaving the care facility she is in, except to transfer to a 24-hour place. her mother has been acting as caretaker, but is nearing 90 and that no longer makes sense. the physicality needed to care for someone losing their muscle control is plenty to underscore the need for a change. but i also realize that not coming home has a deeper relevance. my friend is drifting further away and she seems lost to me. and i haven't been the friend i would like, i've just been the friend i can be right now. i have loved her, but have not shared that with her.

the story is not over. it's simply going on. i am praying that i can tie up some loose ends and give away the feelings i have here. what may truly be a blessing here (all the way round) is if my love would come down. down from my head and flow thru my life.

housekeeping

image credit-diego diaz marin

i am pretty sure that i am looking around for options as i have presently in the process of applying for a new position. i stumbled across a career horoscope reading and found it hopeful that it advised looking outside my immediate sphere for options. i have felt i might need to do this anyway for a variety of reasons, however there is that inner-critic that tells me i can't get anything else and i need to hold on to what i have.
coincidentally, i have put out a couple of feelers and do have an idea or two. i think though that it is important for me to exercise my brain in this way. otherwise i remain stuck.

i wonder which would be tougher- being passed over for a position that might allow me to grow professionally and personally, or simply moving to position that may not offer me much change at all. tomorrow waits to explore what will take place. i know what i would like to do, but i am unclear about my motivation and my drive.

August 2011
Career Horoscopes

Dot your i's and cross your t's during mercury retrograde

reprinted from dailyhoroscope.com

by Jeff Jawer

Creativity is a key to career success for most of this month, with the Sun outgoing Leo until August 23. Instead of limiting your professional choices to the ones that are already in front of you, taking time to think outside the box may help you discover ways to improve your current working situation or to find a new one. The entrepreneurial spirit is strong in Leo, which is also a sign of leadership. Of course, there are risks in having your own business but that's true of just about any line of work these days.

Another important factor now is that Mercury, the communication planet, will be retrograde August 2-26. This backward cycle tends to mess with information and messages, making it especially important to double check facts and to make sure that you and those who matter understand one another. The upside of Mercury's reversal is the possibility to retrieve old concepts and reconnect with people who can help you professionally. Just be careful about any tendency to oversell or to buy into someone else's inflated plans.

On August 21, attractive Venus' shift into efficient Virgo puts a premium on competence. Refining your job-related skills and developing new ones can increase your value and, perhaps, your income as well. The Sun's entry into Virgo on August 23 underscores the importance of being a competent and cooperative worker. Mastering tasks that require concentration may not be flashy and gain immediate attention, but can upgrade almost anyone's professional status.

so i came across this german ensemble named "lovebirds" on beatport. they are so house-y and i swim easily in house music. always have. there is a much more popular version featuring stee downes, but i like this version, too. it's a little more pared down.  when i am inside house music, i find drama, rhythm, melody, percussion, harmony, playfulness, and color- all of which really make my heart smile. here's to making good decisions.  bon weekend :)

flower

Well I never shall wither
Well of course I forgive her
Oh please Lord deliver me
To love

I’m going to reach on up over that fear
I’m never alone won’t you please be near
I know that darkness before the dawn
Tomorrow’s coming and yesterday’s gone.. 

amos lee

i first became acquainted with amos lee about 2 years ago- i think the song was "colors". i loved his easy rock style, his voice, and his look. he came out with a new cd recently titled "mission bell" and this has been no disappointment at all. i have come to love "with the windows rolled down" and "el camino", but this week, i think that flower is my ambrosia. i am listening to the cd quite frequently... once an addict, ya know????

and on a very much more somber note, there is the sentencing of tim dechristopher today for interfering with the bureau of land management. he was given a pretty hefty sentence, especially given some of the horrific deeds some of our own city and state staff members have made in the name of the law. in colorado at least 6 deaths have been attributed to police brutality in the last 6 months, all of them inflicted upon persons of color. yet the severity of the punishment in most of those instances does not match the ire that has met mr. dechristopher. i find myself struggling with the concept of equity. please take a moment to read what tim dechristopher spoke just prior to his sentencing. it is more than just compelling.

Tim DeChristopher, who was sentenced Tuesday to two years in federal prison and a $10,000 fine for disrupting a Bureau of Land Management auction in 2008, had an opportunity to address the court and the judge today immediately before his sentence was announced. This is what he said

read the rest here..